This One’s For The Guys

What do you do when you want to show that you can make a commitment? Look, I am going to lay out the scene so you get it. The economy has been up and down but mostly down. There is no doubt about that and that has never been more true than in Michigan. A lot of my retail store colleagues can attest to this and to sum it up best…. one of them said, “Things aren’t quite like they used to be…”.

So where does that leave relationships? Well, for the most part it has busted up a lot of people. Men and women have split up, took long separations and have even left each other in search of greener pastures. This means taking up new residences and even moving to other states. But guess what? Things are tough all over and in fact I know a lot of people who have zig zagged all over this state of Michigan and even the country only to come back home to try to figure things out again. You talk about frustrating? You bet.

So what happens in a relationship? Does it just die? Is that the right thing to do? Or do you fight for it? I mean, regret is a terrible expense – and the human heart is nothing to fool around with.  Maybe you will start a relationship or get back on the merry go round once the economy starts to pick up again. That certainly is an option but for some of us but it is not the right answer for everybody.

Show Her Your Serious And Make A Commitment

So the question is should you get your girl a ring or should you wait until things get better in this turbulent economy? How does this process work? Me, myself… I can think of about 50 reasons why my girl would say no to me if I even mentioned it.

I’ll just mention the one time I accidently lost her at this huge music outdoor music festival. The night came and my cell phone went dead and we were out in the country in the middle of nowhere. We finally connected with no thanks to the cops. Let me tell you I was afraid that she would never talk to me again.

But yet, I would take a chance and put myself on the line because she is one in a million. And I’m nuts about her. But I am realistic and know that this isn’t some Hollywood movie with a happy ending this is real everyday life and anything can happen. I could propose to her and get shot down. That happens every day too you know.

But what happens from a jewelry store perspective? Can you put a down payment and walk out with a nice piece of jewelry so you can pop the question? I went to a jewelry store to ask the tough questions that most guys are to chicken to ask.

The way it works is if you make a deposit and walk out with an engagement ring you are on the hook. You own it whether she says yes or no. The payments can be overwhelming and heartbreaking for both you and your wallet. Worse, you are stuck with this ring for pretty much the end of time. I mean… who wants that?

But here is what I found out. There is the, “Smart Play” that most guys are unaware of.

My jeweler confidant said to first buy something small and inexpensive. So that way when you get the dreaded no you will be a lot better off financially. Now, I am a romantic but I’m not a classic cheapskate. I am pretty lavish with gifts and rarely say no to my girl over anything. But when it comes to a big purchase like an engagement ring or a wedding ring you are not exactly talking about a box of popcorn or a trunk full of Christmas gifts.

Okay, so what do you buy when you propose? It turns out the answer is pretty simple. My jeweler advised me to purchase a nice $40 bracelet or some Pandora jewelry that won’t bust the bank. Now keep in mind that my jeweler is a very smart woman. She’s also a client and a friend of mine so I know I am getting honest information here.

She said to get a piece of jewelry that would be nice, colorful and yet get the message across. Worse comes to worse I have a nice gift to give to someone else. I don’t want to come off like a total cheapskate but there are a lot of nice bracelets with some stylish charms on them that can communicate your seriousness. We used the low price point $40 but that is just a figure of speech. You know that Pandora can get pricey so set the bar on how high you want to go. My advice was to keep it classy and yet make it look nice.

Now, let’s take the positive road and say that she says yes. Here is what you do…. The next step would be to take your girl to the jewelry store and have her pick out what she wants. In fact, the jewelry store I go to will let you design something special and this way your girl can be part of the entire process. I think that’s great, I mean, let’s face it – we’re not our parents. Our generation does things much differently and having my girlfriend have a say in the process works for me. I like to get her involved in the decisions we make.

While talking in confidence to my jeweler I was also informed about what the younger kids are doing these days. A lot of them are making their own rings out of found objects. That’s cute. I get the whole anti authority – anti corporate mentality but I am not from that generation. I know a piece of artsy found metal is not going to get the job done. I am going to propose with class and a whole lot of dignity. That’s because I want to do it right and me doing it right is to walk in together into the jewelry store to pick something out.

Look, I’m a guy and I don’t usually hang out in jewelry stores and to be quite frank a lot of them kind of freak me out. I get nervous when I look at something longer than ten seconds and having a sales rep jump all over me trying to pull it out of the case so I can get a better look. I also am not a big fan of the bald headed security guys that patrol around the store giving me the evil eye. That being said a lot of jewelry stores creep me out. Hey – I’m being serious and after all we’re just talking here.

My advice to the Bro is to go to an independent family run jewelry store where you feel comfortable.  You can get straight answers and get things hammered out in black and white terms. Also, pick a place where they have low priced items that you can purchase to use for a temporary engagement ring. For some of you that might mean going to a big box place to get the job done. There certainly is nothing wrong with that because this is about choice and options. Just make sure you get a place where you feel comfortable.

Now, look, if you are totally comfortable with getting rejected and money is no object then you can disregard this information. You can buy your rings anywhere you want. But in this economy there are no hard set rules. There is a good chance that if you are reading this then you’re going to want to stick with the smart play.

Remember, to handle yourself with dignity and brace yourself if the answer is not what you expected. It is important to remember that ending a relationship is just as important as how you begin one.

To all you budding Romeo Bro’s  out there I wish you the best.